Monday, January 24, 2011

Hot Mama!

I am starting 2011 off like most other women, resolving to live a healthier lifestyle this year. Yes, I need to lose a few pounds, nothing major but a substantial personal loss last year had me running to the freezer for comfort instead of going for a run. I made lots of excuses for why I wasn't exercising. "I'm too tired", "I don't have time". In the end, I am a single mother of one and I can ill afford to not care for myself, most importantly, I need to demonstrate a life of healthy living to my daughter. Children learn much more by what they watch than what they hear.

As I finished my workout recently I walked by a long row of treadmills humming beside me and passed a magazine rack at the end of the wall. One of the covers struck me as I rounded passed it "Can't Mommy Be Sexy"? I have to admit, I stopped to read it again. I cocked my head and pondered as I entered the locker room. Can I be sexy? Should I be sexy? What is sexy anyway? What is okay and where do you draw the line?

Flying through life solo with a pre-schooler has left little room for thinking about whether or not I promote this kind of image as I am often in jeans, a long sleeve T and Converse One Stars. The question fascinated me. The definition of sexy is: marked by or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest. (Droid Dictionary). I wonder if, having read the definition, that is really what the writer was asking is acceptable. I also know that my regular attire doesn't come close.

I'd like to think that the modern movement of women to break passed the image of "sex symbol" has worked. The non-tolerance of sexual harassment and the breaking of the glass ceiling I thought afforded us more freedom to be seen as something else other than what is on personal display. I think of my daughter. What I do every day, how I act, what I say and yes, what I wear and how I conduct myself to members of the opposite sex are all being recorded in her little brain and she will take her cues from me whether I like it or not. How can I expect her to do anything different? As adults we are prone to do the same thing with those in our environment, every day!

Perhaps what was really meant was having an air of attractiveness. We should dress and present ourselves becomingly. Proverbs 31:21-22 talks about the Wife of Noble Character as being clothed in scarlet and fine linen. These kinds of garments were of high quality and were indicative of a dignitary. Should we not dress the part? Princess Diana was a beautiful, stunning woman. Indeed she was pleasing to the eye, dressed becomingly and conservatively. She was the picture of elegance and dignity. I'd like my daughter to have these words to describe me rather than sexy.

Being a widow, I don't have a husband but I tried to think of what he would say if I had strutted out of our bedroom to run off to a play date dressed like I was going to a night club. I am sure there would be a raised eyebrow or two. Even if he didn't out right protest, I wonder what he would think of his wife running out the door, purse and child in tow, dressed provocatively without him. Dressing to be noticed does one thing very well, it draws attention. I know that when I was drawing attention from the opposite sex as a married woman, it made me feel uncomfortable. I felt as though it was disrespectful to my husband for a man to knowingly flirt with his wife. I had the understanding that advances should come from my other half only.
Being made one in holy matrimony means that I was his and he was mine. Want to know if something is appropriate to wear out sans hubby? I'd ask him.

In a world struggling to be noticed physically, I am out there a singleton in the world wanting to be noticed for her heart. I want my future mate to see a beautiful woman on the inside, I don't want him to be impressed with what he might see on the outside. A conservative dress frees me to not have to have those worries and doesn't distract from what might be a meaningful and important conversation. It also won't give the wrong impression. Given my choice, I'd rather spend time with people who want to share in a conversation and a good laugh. I want my company to respect me for the spiritual being that I am. Besides, trying to roll around with kids in skinny jeans and stiletto heels is not only impractical, it's down right dangerous!

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