"People want what you have but they don't want to go through what you went through to get it". - Joyce Meyer

The world is filled with people finding shortcuts to something more without having to do any work to achieve it. Fail proof 'get rich' books offer the solution to unlimited wealth. All you have to do is read and apply. The diet drink that transforms you to the body you've always dreamed of. All you have to do is charge your card for a small monthly fee and sip your way to slimmer hips and thighs in no time. You can undo years worth of unhealthy emotional damage if you just believe in yourself. It all sounds great. Why wouldn't it? I'd be the next in line for all of these if they delivered as promised. Do you know anyone who can testify to their validity besides the actors on the commercial?

If there were any one comment I hear more from my readers than anything else it is that I am an inspiration. It seems that people who have even heard of me offer my ears and eyes the same words of encouragement. I am not lifted by the sentiments though, I am terrified. Fear and trembling is my approach to what I have to teach. In my oft bumbling gaffes through life, I have been trained in great wisdom. My written lessons are merely a recount of experiences, nothing more. There is no school to attend, no magic pill, no instant solution. A mind formed by trial, has somehow made me attractive to others. To them, I have much to offer. I don't want to give them something more than I have. So dangerous is the law of attraction. Many have been given the gift of teaching but they get caught up in its power that they lose the lessons they've been given and reach for something more in order to keep the throngs in front of them. They forgot one thing. The audience is part of the gift. The giver can take it all away in the absence of acknowledgement and gratitude. Never elevate yourself higher than your station. Someone put you there and that is exactly where He wants you where it be weeks, years or hours. You are filling a purpose.

Were I to recount in a continuous chronological display all the trials I've overcome in my life in order to have what I've been given it would be a story too sad to read. The burden would drown the joy. No, the lessons digested in part and parcel are much easier to take in. Wisdom also brings discernment so I know this to be true. If you've ever read Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt you'd know what I am talking about. Mr. McCourt followed his first book up with an equally dismal sequel, " 'Tis". I read through the first and then half of the second before I shut the cover in discouragement and presented myself to my recommending mother to ask "does this guy's life ever get better? I can hardly stand to read on!" to which my dad piped up from across the room to say, "Sure, he became a bestselling author and millionaire". Lord, forbid it to be true of me. I desire something much more than fame or money. I want the ability to offer hope to the suffering and for others to see the evidence of peace in my life despite great circumstances. Discernment helps you hold your tongue when you need to and brings the courage to share the truth when you ought.

Yes, I have endured. No, I am not bitter. I've met rooms full of people and the irony is the ones who have suffered the least are the ones who complain the most. Wisdom brings levity. I don't get angry when they spew negativity. I chuckle to myself as if to say, 'if you only knew how bad it could be'. They want to know the shortcut to happiness. There isn't one. I submit you learn to be content in the situation not absent of it. We're it to not be so, there would be psychiatric facilities packed to the gills with victims instead of arenas full of attendees anxious to hear from overcomers. No one would be well enough to bring the message hope to those so in need of healing.

Enjoy your blessings, they number more than your trials. I've only learned to focus on them because I have been brought through so many of the latter. Some scratch their heads at how I still stand. I understand their wondering but I have a secret to share with you. I am grateful for every minute of pain. Dare I say, I would not be the person I am today without it. I have been given a gift to replace what has been lost in the turmoil that far outweighs what I've had to let go of. I wouldn't want it any other way. I count it great joy that I have the ability to see all this and write it down for you to read. May it renew your spirit and help you go on. You can't get what I have any other way than being brought through what I have. While I pray that you would be spared, I would like to offer you a by-product of lessons though. It's hope.

The One and Only

When I look back on my first two years of widowhood, interestingly enough, I don't mourn. I crane my head over my shoulder turn back around, give my brain a good shake and say "whoa, what a ride!". It makes for an interesting story (okay, shameless plug for my upcoming book) I can assure you. It has all the makings of a great movie. A hero, a villian, then you don't know who is the villian and who is the hero but you want to find out and it comes with a happy ending. What could be better? Great trial in life leaves you with profound insight. You gain nuggets of truth no one else can have except those that have been in your shoes and also, if they are blessed, learned the same things. I have led a life that no one would choose. Were I to list all of the amazing suffering I've endured you'd wonder why I was still sitting here, let alone able to tell you about it with a smile on my face. I walked through the fire and yet, not burned. Sure, I've got scars. No one ever promised me I'd be unscathed. These emotional scars are visible, praise God. To some, they add to my beauty. They see the lines, the bumps. They run their fingers over them and stare into my face in amazement and call them blessed. The ones that do that are the ones who rejoice in my suffering because they know it also brought healing. While their trial might be different than mine, they want the same transformation. They know that the pain, in the end, brings great joy. I am living proof of it and so they can hold on, for just one more day if they can have what they see in me. To them I say, study every blemish. Ask me about all of them. I will tell you of the great peace they have brought to me. Others see my scars and call them ugly. They see what I've become and call it a curse. To them I am something to ridicule, maimed beyond recognition from what I used to be. They mourn for the old person I once was. They see me now, they see my beauty and they are jealous for it so they resent me. They have their own wounds from life but they are not the same. They have not experienced the healing from living water like I have. Theirs are still open and painful. When they see my scars, though they shine in the light from closure and regrowth, they want to rip them open. To me I am a thing to be avoided as they are confused by the new creation I've become. "Don't tell anyone you've been cured!" they say. I tell them how I got better and they furrow their brows in irritance. Some have left my side. Others flee in horror, afraid they will look like me if they get too close. Those are the ones I sorrow for the most. They don't know how close restoration they really were, but they refuse it. For me, what once was is now irrevocably gone. What is left is only a reminder. I look at myself, examine my scars and wear them as badges of honor. They are a gift. I have now by my wounds been given a great commission. To go in search of the suffering and try to offer relief. If not for the visible reminders of battles past, no one would ever know there was any hope for their future or mine.

Public Apology for Last Week's Post

Dear Friends; Thank you for the comments last week regarding The Forgiven Things. In the spirit of Easter and the greatest extention of forgiveness the world has ever seen, the meaning behind what it takes to exact that was on my heart, especially when we reconcile with those who have offended. I recounted the events of a story which, in hindsight and with the help of honest friends who hold me accountable to principles some would be afraid to, I may have unwittingly exposed too many details and left someone feeling, to quote a reader, "unclothed in the marketplace". Taking that to heart, I have deleted last week's post and replaced it with this apology. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. In fact, if it had been my agenda, it would have made everything I said about forgiveness a total lie. Friends, everyone screws up just like I opened last week's article with. It doesn't matter how I got here, it just matters what I need to do about it. _____, I am sorry. I hope in some way, this public apology provides amends if I inadvertently made you feel robbed of your dignity. I sorrow over your feelings.