Friday, March 5, 2010

"Celebrity" Gossip

It has been a week now since I left. Some have already asked when I'll be back but the truth is, I am just getting started on my journey. I have had some time to think about why I left. To some it would have seemed a bit abrupt and not well thought out. Many would not have just picked up their child and some personal affects and proceeded to drive the coast. I know that. I had to do it.

After some back and forth discussion my mother confessed that she feared my departure was an effort to run away from everyone and everything. I confirmed that for her and some how she seems to feel less anxious about my adventure. Interesting isn't? I guess even when people don't really want to hear the truth they can be sometimes comforted by it nonetheless.

Burning questions asked of me over email, text and Facebook. Where am I going? When am I coming back? Where am I moving to? There are other questions but those are the most common. I haven't answered one of them and I won't. The explanations will be found here.

Celebrities tend to lament the public eye. The constant barrage of attention and information, pictures, staring. Every move ending up in the National Inquirer. They just can't be themselves at any time outside their home. There are no secrets and there are no private moments outside the walls of their mansions or hotel rooms. I used to think that just came with the territory. If you decide you need to be famous then you just need to accept this type of a life. No sympathy was found in me, then again, I don't get "star struck" anyway. I've met plenty of them. Most would really just like to either be ignored or treated like a regular person, for once. That almost never happens. Quite a few stars even become reclusive, rarely being seen out in public. Even they get stalked. Seems if you are withdrawn there is more to find out about according to the papparazzi. Hidden they stay, hoping for a moment of peace. What a life...

That brings the point to me. I now understand these poor unfortunates of fame. In a way, I feel like I've become a victim of my own voyeurs. Greg's passing, a 39 year old man who left behind a 37 year old wife and 2 1/2 year old daughter, is rare occurrence. People expect older women to lose their husbands. Not any less sad and devastating but expected. The widows are comforted by friends and family but people seem to move on from it rather quickly. Not so with someone like me. I don't know if my experience is typical but it certainly has gotten rather unpleasant. I expected those around me to be around for a while, to check in and see how we were doing and move on. That didn't seem to happen. Seemed as though the longer my journey in recovery following Greg's passing went, the more interesting I got for other people. Not so much close friends, they haven't changed, but acquaintances. People I don't know well. For someone who is "stand-offish" it is difficult to answer personal questions to those who are not involved in my life. I wonder why they need to know. Usually it is just curiosity, lately my life has become fodder for discussions within circles of whom I used to belong. This makes me hurt and angry. How can you discuss things of mine that are so personal and painful without really knowing anything about me?

What is it about my situation that makes people so interested? Lately, what about my situation has made people feel so confident in voicing their opinions about my decisions either to me or to others? What is it about my situation or me that others feel the need to cross-check my choices to see if it passes their muster? Why then have informal discussions with others about my path in life and hold roundtables to decide what must be going on "with me"?

The constant barrage of questions, hearing about others talking about me, others feeling the need to pry in to my personal life in an effort to either feel as though they are "in the know" with me or to satisfy their own curiosity is too much. I am not on television. I am not in the movies. I am not starring in my own movie. By and large, my life is mine to either reap the rewards or suffer the consequences, regardless. Ultimately, the constant microscope I feel I have been under is too overbearing. I am gone, for now. When will I be back? I don't know. Where am I moving to? Permanently speaking, I don't know. Right now I am in Key West and will be for a while. I like it here. People are nice, the weather is good. There are tons of writers who are already meeting with me and helping me get my book in the right direction. Carli is happy to be with mom and to have me with her so much, but she also misses school. I thought that was interesting. I left because I need less interaction and more soul searching. I need to get my head together and get this book written. The solitude will help, believe me. I don't have to live with the papparazzi. I didn't chose this life. I don't think that budding celebrities really knew what they were getting into being in the public eye either and their poor public existence is something to be pitied compared to mine. I feel awful for them. Here on the streets of Key West, I am a nobody. I like that just fine. Not to mention, where I am staying, there is a palm tree in my front yard.

If you are interested in what is going on and how we're doing it will be on this blog.
Stay tuned.....


  1. well i am a firm believer in doing what YOU feel is necessary and a you feel that this is the necessary road to follow at this time. God bless you and Carli in your journey. There is an awesome song that would fit this blog. 'Joy in the Journey'. Have fun and enjoy yourself, take a lot of pictures and have faith that things will change for the good. Give that beautiful little girl of your a huge hug for me ok.

  2. Britt, After reading that, my heart is heavy and sad. I struggled with responding but I felt I needed to at least let you know that you are loved.

    Sometimes people don't know how to respond to a situation, especially a situation like you said, "is a rare occurrence" and possibly there were people whose motivations were not driven by a pure heart. That is unfortunate but i think the exception.

    But, I know beyond a shadow of doubt, in deed and action and with an Agape Love, that from here, your home, this church, you are loved.

    No matter how long you are gone and no matter how far away you go, you will always have a home here.

    Your sister-in-Christ,

  3. People for the most part are about themselves. Most have the need to feel that other’s are in line with their thinking, their values, and their processes. I have experienced people being jealous toward me when I am making efforts to improve myself. They see me changing and all have comments about the “State” of me and their opinions of the process I “should be” doing, and not the process I actually am doing. Their fear I believe is what is motivating their comments. Fear of losing me, fear of me passing them by, fear of me being better than them. As if life were some contest and we all know it is not. Or do we? We are all making our way through this wonderful journey with air going in and air going out. No contest going on… Or is there one in people mind’s?

    Brittany, after reading this blog entry above, I am perplexed as to whether or not I should keep commenting on your blogs. Putting your blogs out here in this format is a form of Celebrity. You are putting yourself out in the Public eye for all to see. In this format of speech it is also allowing others to comment. These blogs are about you and your journey. I thought it would be a nice thing to show you support by reading your blogs and commenting on them with very encouraging words. The reason for me to do so, and why I personally feel compelled, is to support you in your journey. This way you would know someone is reading your blogs and following your story. No matter what you choose for the paths you take in this journey, I wanted to show you support. It’s kind of a neat thing for people in any facet of life to know that others are paying attention and it typically gives someone a good feeling when knowing this.

    I am an acquaintance of yours as you wrote above, but not someone who has asked you for any answers, or emails you questions, or checks your facebook page. What attracted me to follow your blogs is that occasionally I think of you and how wonderful your light is. The trip you are on now is interesting. One of the many reasons people read books for enjoyment such as Mystery novels, is that they get to read about very cool things, different places, and exotic people. They get to follow a story that takes them away from where they are. Brittany, you are living that story in a Novel and your blogs are the pages of it. Even more attracting is that it is a true story happening in real time, in the present tense. But in a Hardcover or Paperback book there really isn’t an interactive comments section to have a dialog with the Author.

    You wrote that you left to get away from everyone and everything. According to your writings, you are still checking email and facebook, and are obviously blogging. All of these things keep you connected to the public eye. But shouldn’t a Celebrity be able to check their email, their facebook account, and write blogs?

    So I am wondering do you want people to comment and interact with you? You know in doing so people will for the most part give you their take on the situation at hand, whatever that situation might be.

  4. You go girl! It takes gutts to actually do the things we dream of doing. You & Carli are young and now is the time and when you get old you will not look back saying I should of did this or that...not only will you write the book but you will get it published!
    I heard Key West is a great place for the arts and oh how healing the beach & ocean are.
    You go where you want to go and you see what you want to is your journey. God knows your heart and he will bring you where you are meant to be. How exciting for you both! You should post a picture of your view :)
    Again, I look forward to more reading.

    Jen Mitchell

  5. Regularly Praying for you on this new path your life is journeying since Greg. May this be a great time to finish your book, soul search, connect with Carli in a way that will never be replaced but get better. Enjoy just being. May this time also help you to see your Creator and trust that this is His best for you and REST in Him.

    From a stranger that relies on your FB and Blog to get to know you and know how to pray better for you :) {hugs}

  6. Hey Britt, Since you are addressing "people" in general and not a specific person, I have to ask myself if I am one of those folks who fell short in being your friend. If I did fall short, I am very sorry. I have enjoyed the times that we interacted. I felt like you are a kindred spirit. Now that I know that it will be a while till I see you again, I just want you to know that I respect you, and I will miss you. Sincerely, Ocean

  7. Very proud of the stance you took with regard to your 'life' and how you need to deal with the grieving process.

    Be strong girl and know that you are free to do whatever you want in this life, because you are an Independent American woman.

    Rock on!